I remember when I was single I would stress so much over whether I would ever get married. I always seemed to have a hard time finding a girl I liked being around and who was also a passionate follower of Jesus. That combo was hard for me to find, so I became a little pessimistic about whether I would ever find a Godly spouse.
However, someone once told me to not spend my life searching for a future wife, but instead spend my life following God’s call on my life, make Him and His plans the number one priority, which would, as this person said, eventually lead me to my future wife. I would be so caught up in what God wanted me to do that I would inevitably stumble upon the girl God wanted me to be with. This advice forever changed how I approached looking for a spouse and it ultimately allowed me to rest in Jesus and not rest in my stress.
I met my fiancée as I was studying to become a pastor at a Christian university. I heard God’s call on my life to become a pastor, followed that call to the university He called me to, and I even told myself to not even attempt to date any girl at the university, since I wanted to just focus on my studies, but God had other plans. I went into the coffee shop on campus, saw her, stumbled my words, and I knew I had to be with her. I didn’t search for her. God just presented to me. The same thing happened with Adam and Eve.
Adam didn’t have to tirelessly search for Eve. He didn’t have to stress over if he would ever find a girl to marry. He didn’t have to incessantly check his Christian Mingle account to see if any girl wanted to date him. God saw a need and then presented Eve. Adam didn’t find Eve, but rather Eve was presented to him. The same goes with our relationships.
We shouldn’t stress over whether we will get married. If it’s in God’s plan, then He will present him/her when the time is right. And the timing isn’t based on our plans, but His plans. He is calling the shots and we should be thankful for that, since His ways are so much better than our ways.
I know it can be difficult to trust God when we’ve been single for such a long time. Personally, I was single for two years and, trust me, those were some long years. I was following God’s call, but it still was sometimes hard to trust if God would come through. However, God is in the business of being faithful. He will always come through for us.
So, my hope and prayer is that you don’t stress as much about where and when your future spouse will show up. You should be so caught up in the grace of Christ that your priority is in becoming who He created you to be, instead of focusing on finding who He created you to be with.
The most important relationship you will ever have is your relationship with Jesus. So, prioritize that relationship and everything else will fall into place. You might think things are falling apart, but they might just be falling into place. Trust God’s call on your life, passionately follow it, and everything will fall into place, including finding your future spouse.
Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. -Matthew 6:33