She was the cutest girl at my work. She also wasn’t a Christian. She knew that I want to honor Jesus with my life, but that didn’t stop her from trying to do what she did. Three weeks ago, she told me explicitly that she wanted to have sex.

She repeatedly said sexually provocative statements and ended it with, “just remember, I’m only a phone call away. Whenever you have a urge, just call me and I’ll be right over”.

Two thoughts were in my head when I heard that: 1) This is the greatest thing anyone has ever told me 2) I have to get away from this girl. I ended up distancing myself from her and now we don’t talk. It would be an understatement to say that it was easy, but, looking back, I can say I’m proud of how it turned out.

I tell you that story because dating is important.

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This post isn’t about convincing you to save sex for marriage. I can’t do that, only God can. As you know, we think a lot about sex. Sex is a frequent visitor in my mind and it arrives at such random times. I can be driving and then see a random license plate and suddenly I’m thinking about sex. It’s crazy and unexplainable. I’ve got better at controlling my thoughts, but my mind is still prone to venture off into a dirty place.

It’s in your best interest to not be consumed by lust.

Having sex with that person isn’t going to solve your problems. You might think that having sex just that one time will satisfy your sexual appetite, but it won’t. In fact, it’ll only make you lust more. Also, you might think watching porn is harmless, but it’s just as destructive, if not more, than having sex.

We can’t just be people who do whatever our bodies tells us to do. Instead, we need to be people who do whatever Jesus tells us to do. My body was clearly telling me to have sex with my co-worker. She didn’t want to be my girlfriend, but instead she wanted to be “friends with benefits”. Whenever I had an urge, she wanted to satisfy it without any commitments of a relationship. To some people, this sounds like heaven. For some moments of a day, I feel like I am one of those people.

My body was screaming that this was perfect, but my God was gently telling me that I had to walk away. I ended up walking away and you should too.

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Our bodies often tell us to do things that we know we shouldn’t do. We can even find doing these things enjoyable. For example, I’ve heard of married people committing adultery and enjoying every moment of their illicit affair. I’ve dated girls in the past and my body has tempted me to cheat on them, but I didn’t because I knew it was wrong. My body was wrong, as it is often.

You might not understand it now, but God is greater than sex. I haven’t had sex and I understand that sex is something special that I only want to experience in my future marriage, but, to be honest, I’ve had seasons of my life where I’ve wished that Jesus would allow me to have sex with whomever I wanted.

The struggle of sexual purity reminds me that sex is worth the fight.

Anything that is difficult usually has a great payoff. My payoff will be telling my wife, “I sought to be faithful to you and to love you even before I met you. And now, I want to spend the rest of my life reminding you of my love for you each day we’re married”. That payoff will be great. I truly look forward to that day.

Listen to Jesus, not your body.

What are your thoughts?

Leave your comment below

Jordan Kranda
Follower of Jesus. Husband to Ariel. Master’s of Theology (Greek Track) Graduate. Future Pastor. Present lover of cheese, Blink-182, & watching sports.

20 COMMENTS

  1. I’m afraid your only pay off will be lack of experience and regret for not living life to the full, there is nothing wrong with having sexual thoughts or weird about having spiritual thoughts. You can make Heaven on Earth depending on what your Heaven is;
    If making love to lots of women is your Heaven and living like a rock star then so be it.
    if your heaven is to marry and make love to just one woman then so be it.
    I have been Christened and Confirmed a Christian , the Bible is a good book to live your life from , but remember that it was written according to the apostles for a time that was very different.
    In some cases it’s best to follow your heart rather than your spiritual intellect, you may of fallen in love with your work colleague and she may of fallen in love with you, the initial sexual attraction can be the first steps to a relationship.

    I hope you find what you are looking for.

  2. It’s so worth the wait!!! God only puts boundaries in our lives to bless us. A healthy, God-fearing marriage is one of the most beautiful blessings in my life – and yes, God & marriage, is so much greater than just sex!

  3. Great article! I so know the struggle. It’s hard, and even harder in a world that doesn’t except virginity. I wanna thank you for these encouraging words!

  4. I love this article! I believe for a fact that the payoff will be great. Even in today’s world of dating it’s very different from Christian dating or marriage. I just can’t wait for when the day comes, that I for a fact will be able to tell my future spouse that I have been faithful since day one. It is a hard temptation to bypass but God is so much more greater than sex. Keep up the good work, and let your light shine for God!

  5. I’m actually going this right now and your article just helped me and also caused my mind to drift as well. I’m striving to be more pure not just for my future husband but for myself. It is hard but through God cheering for me I can get through it.

  6. Awesome article and thoughts. God is well pleased! If and when you do get married, I would encourage you to pursue Natural Family Planning to continue to honor your wife’s and your own body. God’s way is best.

  7. Why do you assume that? Because a guy for once respects not only his body but his future marriage? Because a guy for once is looking into the future rather than “living in the present”
    And not caring about the future like most teens? That doesn’t make him look gay it makes him mature which you obviously aren’t for making that comment in the first place.

  8. Jordan,
    Thank you for bravely sharing your stories, your heart, and your love for the Lord with others!
    Reading your posts, I’ve wanted to share this song from my favorite Christian band, Anthem Lights, with you. It’s called Hide Your Love Away:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgRFAY7gEmM&feature=kp

    I hope this song can be an encouragement to keep holding on for your future wife, even in the midst of the tough times.
    Their music inspires and encourages me everyday. I hope you’ll give them a listen!
    Blessings to you!

  9. Wow! You have no idea how unbelievably nice it is to know that there are guys like you out there! It’s so difficult to find guys that want to wait and not just because the bible says so but because they respect their future wife! I have the same respect for my future husband! Whoever God has for you, she will be inexplainablly blessed to receive you! I pray that God will continue to help you and give you strength to wait for her and that He will do the same for her.

  10. LOVE this post! It’s beyond evident that waiting is the best choice as we can see many broken relationships due to sex before marriage. Sex is sacred. It is what bonds two people together and should not be taken for granted. I think of it as God’s “wedding present” to you and your spouse. Don’t open the present before the marriage. Temptation is always around but so is resistance.

  11. Our bodies are not corrupt! They are holy! God created them! The unholy things we do come from us using our free will to give into our concupiscence. We should live fully in Christ with our bodies guided by our spirit. Nothing God creates is inheritantly evil, it what we do that maybe not so good.

  12. I love reading your blog because of how honest you are. As Christians, often the topic of sex and desire is swept under the rug for people who aren’t married, when they are the people who need to be talked to about it most. Your post was spot on! God bless

  13. Very nice! I agree, and I love the idea of being faithful to your spouse before you know them. But thanks for not denying that the feelings are consistently and randomly there.
    This reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures in the Book of Mormon, “Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal.” (2 Nephi 9:39)

  14. Hey there! Love it!! I like how honest you are about these things that nobody seems to talk about. You’ll make some girl VERY happy someday Jordan!

  15. I love this article. But you may want to change “boyfriend” to “girlfriend” in the 5th paragraph.

    Again, awesome article!!

  16. “Anything that is difficult usually has a great payoff. My payoff will be telling my wife, ‘I sought to be faithful to you and to love you even before I met you. And now, I want to spend the rest of my life reminding you of my love for you each day we’re married.'”

    Awesome! Thanks.

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