Dating is a process of life. Everyone does it, yet not everyone does it right, especially Christians. Dating is a beautiful way for you to get to know someone else and for you to get to know yourself. However, dating can also be an express lane for you to lose your faith in Jesus. If you’re a Christian, you’ve probably heard that Christians should only date other Christians.
Why can’t Christians date non-Christians?
I could throw out Bible verses on dating, but I won’t.
The truth is, the Bible says nothing about dating. The concept of dating is a modern idea and obviously wasn’t around in Bible times.
Many love to use a verse 2 Corinthians 6:14 (“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.“) to say that we shouldn’t date anyone who doesn’t love Jesus, but that’s not what that verse is talking about. Instead, that verse says that our business partners shouldn’t be anyone who doesn’t love Jesus.
You can say that you’re pulling a principle, but you’re also making the Bible say something that it’s not saying, which is not something I want to do. God doesn’t want us to date anyone who doesn’t love Jesus and I don’t think the best reason is something that can be inferred from taking a Bible verse out of context.
So, what is the best reason for not dating someone who doesn’t love Jesus?
I wouldn’t date someone who didn’t love Jesus because He is so important to me that not knowing Him means you wouldn’t truly know me.
The Christian life is about fixing our eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2). Everything we say and do should be for the glory of Jesus. He must be at the center of everything we do and at the foundation. Jesus is King.
What does this have to do with dating?
Dating is about getting to know someone who potentially might become your spouse.
Some people date to have fun, while others date to find someone to bang, but I’m dating to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.
I don’t have much money, so I’m not just going to buy dinner for any girl off the Taco Bell value menu. I have standards. haha.
I’m only dating someone who I can see working out long term. And I know for a fact that if she doesn’t love Jesus, then there is no shot we can work long term, since Jesus is my king.
Jesus means everything to me. I truly mean that. My greatest joy is feeling His presence in my life. I love when I read in the Bible about Jesus walking and talking to people. That brings me so much joy, since He always proves to me that He is worthy of praise. His interactions with people blow me away.
I also love seeing His fingerprints throughout my life. I love seeing when Jesus answers a prayer, but also when He doesn’t answer a prayer, then I try to find out what He is trying to teach me, which is also an incredible joy for me.
Like I wrote before, Jesus is everything to me and I couldn’t even consider dating someone who doesn’t love Jesus. I will want to talk about all that Jesus is doing in my life, but she wouldn’t understand it. Thus, she wouldn’t truly understand me.
So, should people date someone, then bring them to Jesus?
If the wisest person not named Jesus, King Solomon, was lead astray by romantic relationships with women who didn’t love the LORD (1 Kings 11), then why do you think it’s a good idea?
Sure, we all know someone who has come to Jesus because of their spouse, but that’s not a good reason to do it.
The Bible, especially Proverbs, talks a lot about having the closest people in your life being Godly people (Proverbs 12:26, 13:20, 14:6-7). Friendship is about having commonality between two people and nothing is a more significant similarity than both having Jesus has your foundation of your life. If Jesus is your foundation, then your relationship is more likely to not fall apart. This is why Christians shouldn’t date anyone who doesn’t love Jesus.
If you’re okay with dating someone who doesn’t love Jesus, then you’re also okay with not talking about Jesus, praying for each other, going to church together, and, most of all, you’re okay with having this relationship be something that grows the both of you more into who Jesus wants you to be. If they don’t love Jesus, then none of that will happen. And if that’s okay by you, then something is wrong with your relationship with Jesus, since He is obviously not the foundation of your life.
Missionary dating or whatever you call it is a lame excuse for trying to hide the fact that you don’t think the Bible is right about having the closest people in your life be Godly people. You rationalize by saying that you know times where it worked, but there’s also far more times when it doesn’t work.