Sex is in our TV shows, our movies, our music, and in our minds. Everyone wants to have sex and it seems like no one is waiting to have sex till marriage.

However, I’m 24 years-old, I haven’t had sex, and I won’t till I’m married.

Before you label me as a weirdo or think that I’m just horrible with women, hear me out.

My main reason I’m waiting to have sex till marriage isn’t actually rooted in a Bible verse, but instead it’s rooted in a Biblical concept: faithfulness. I’ll start by briefing talking about what the Bible says about waiting to have sex till marriage, then I’ll devote the rest of this post to why I’m personally waiting.

First and foremost, the Bible says that sex is meant for married people only (1 Corinthians 7, Hebrews 13:4, Genesis 2:24).

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Sex is a beautiful gift, yet we turn this beauty into sin by opening up this gift before marriage. Click to Tweet
Sex closely unites two people (both physically and spiritually) and uniting in this way to someone who you’re not married to isn’t healthy for you (both physically and spiritually). Oddly enough, these Bible verses about sex and marriage aren’t the main reason I’m waiting, but instead my main reason has to do with my parent’s divorce.

Anyone who has experienced divorce knows that it sucks. The divorce of my parents was extremely painful. I remember hating that I didn’t come home to a home with my mom and dad in it. Instead, I had to wait till the weekend to go to my dads. I felt like a void was missing in my life and that void was happiness. I never want to get a divorce and I honestly feel like wanting to have sex increases my likelihood of not getting a divorce.

My decision to wait is me being faithful to my future wife before I’ve even met her. Click to Tweet

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The foundation of a lasting marriage is based on your faithfulness to Jesus and your faithfulness to each other, so waiting to have sex is building my faithfulness in both these areas. I’m practicing faithfulness to her before our marriage, our first kiss, and even our first date.

I believe Jesus has an amazing women of God in His plans for my life. I’d be lying if I said waiting was easy, since it’s not, but there lies another motivation. The hardest tasks usually have the greatest payoffs. The fact that it requires a lot of prayer and work to wait to have sex shows me that waiting is the best thing.

If you’re like me in that you’re waiting to have sex till marriage, then be encouraged. You’re not alone. I’m right there with you and there are many other people with us. You are not a freak, a loser, or whatever people might call you.

Lastly, if you’ve had sex before marriage, don’t beat yourself up. Jesus still loves you.

Some of the greatest Christians I know have made this mistake. No one is perfect and you can have a fresh start by making the commitment to wait again. Your spouse will love that you made that commitment and won’t hold your past against you. Personally, I don’t care if my future wife has had sex or not. I’m dated many girls who have had sex and it wasn’t an issue for me. All I care about is that she’s living for Jesus now.


Why are you waiting to have sex till marriage?

Leave your comment below.

Jordan Kranda
Follower of Jesus. Husband to Ariel. Master’s of Theology (Greek Track) Graduate. Future Pastor. Present lover of cheese, Blink-182, & watching sports.

28 COMMENTS

  1. Unfortunately, waiting to have sex with the person you marry is probably not going to guarantee a great marriage. Just because you’ve never had sex with other people doesn’t mean that will change any disagreements, personality conflicts, or any other obstacles that might cause the marriage to become more of a burden than something that makes you both happy. Faithfulness isn’t always going to keep your marriage going because, the majority of the time, when one partner cheats on the other, it’s stemming from some underlying issue that is making them unhappy. If someone is completely happy, they usually never think to cheat in the first place.

    You can absolutely do what you want to do and I would never judge someone for waiting, but I can’t say I agree that there is the benefit of a long-lasting marriage all because you lost your virginity to the woman/man whom you married.

  2. I’m engaged to my girlfriend of 5years. We have had sex before, resolved to wait, but have fell back into it time and again. We have had sex since being engaged, what are your thoughts on this matter? Being “betrothed” to someone to marriage and Biblically speaking where does it cross the line? I feel that Ive entered into a marriage covenant when i got down on one knee. However I do not want to just be self justifying my deeds to keep doing them, id like an honest, biblical opinion also with, if possible, scriptural references. Thanks man for what u do keep it up and God Bless you.

    • I would like to comment on the post of the man who is engaged to his girlfriend and still having sex.

      That is a very interesting question. But what I find in scripture is that betrothed and marriage are two different things. In the old Testament there is a passage that describes the customs when people were found guilty of pre-marital sex. (http://christianity.about.com/od/Bible-Verses/a/Sexual-Sin_2.htm) or (Deuteronomy 22:13-21)

      Thankfully because of the new covenant through Christ, and grace that has been given, we don’t have to be stoned for our actions, but it does not change the fact that sex before marriage is still wrong.

      Also if you look at 1 Corinthians, Paul refers to marriage as a “cure” to sexual immorality. “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” -1 Cor. 7:2

      So based on those things, I would have to say that being engaged is not the same as standing before God and your family and making a public covenant to your wife and The Lord to be joined together in marriage.

      Also, you said you “feel that I have entered a marriage covenant when I got down on one knee.” But our feelings doesn’t always mean truth. In fact, a lot of times our flesh is what controls our feelings, and our flesh is sinful. In Romans 7:14-20, it talks about being under the flesh and therefore sold under sin. Our desires in our flesh are sinful, so we must choose to walk in the Spirit to withstand temptation. I pray that you will search your heart and ask The Lord to guide your future actions with your fiancé. God bless you!

      • And I want to also say that I hope you didn’t think I sounded harsh and un-Christ like in my post. I am not judging you or your actions because I have more flaws and mistakes in my life than I care to admit, I was just trying to answer your comment as thoroughly and honestly as I could! The beauty of the Lord’s grace and mercy is that it is new every morning, and thankfully when we mess up, The Lord still loves us the same as when we are following Him. Be encouraged of that my brother!

        • Jessica… Not feeling judged at all. Your being the best Jesus you can to me :-). Jesus was always good, not always nice. Thank you for your reply. God bless you.

          • Well thank you for receiving my words as encouragement and not as judgment! May the Lord guide you in the days ahead! 🙂

  3. I’ve had pre-marital sex and I don’t regret it at all. My partner and I were both virgins when we met, and we waited about a year before having sex. It’s easy to mistake lust for love, especially when you’re young. The first year we were together, our relationship seemed absolutely perfect. My partner was flawless in my eyes. After having sex, I realized that a lot of this “perfection” was really just lust in disguise. Being able to get past the sexual tension allowed me to see that my partner does have flaws, and so do I. Our relationship is not perfect. Like any successful relationship, it takes work.

    We are still unmarried, but we intend to tie the knot in a few years once we are both done school and have the income to start a family. Because we have already had sex and moved past the “honeymoon phase”, we are able to see both the positive and negative aspects of our relationship. We have learned to trust, communicate, and work together to keep our connection strong. As a result, I have no doubt in my mind that he will be the right husband for me. I know that when we do get married, it will be because of a genuine desire to spend our lives together and raise children. We won’t be focused on the wedding night, or the honeymoon, or moving in together for the first time. We’ll be focused on the marriage itself. We have been together for over 5 years now, and have remained completely monogamous and deeply in love. Having sex was definitely not a mistake.

    • That’s fine if you don’t think having sex was a mistake. Everyone isn’t a Christian. We have can either live for Jesus or live for ourselves. It’s our choice. God bless you.

  4. I will be 23 this year and I am waiting too. I am so grateful to have stumbled upon this post because I am encouraged To be confidant in my choice. being a christian girl in this society allows for tremendous pressure. I have the biggest dream for my marriage and I might not be there yet but I choose to work on it in the present. I’ve been blessed by this, thanks so much Jordan.
    Blessings all the way from South Africa:)

  5. I Love everything you said. Being faithful now will help in a marriage. It is emotionally damaging to have sex before marriage.
    So many women I am friends with say they don’t want to wait anymore that they are just going to marry some guy that loves her but does not love God. it is so sad because they could find a guy like you someday if they only wait and look longer. I know, I hope to find a guy that thinks as you do soon. But if not the wait is hard but the reward is worth it. 😀

  6. Love this post! I also come from a broken family and this has always been something that has hit the hardest in my life. I am waiting until marriage as a way to show my devotion to God, but also as a way to set myself up for a marriage that will succeed. I want my kids to have everything I didn’t have, including parents who loved each other and are able to teach them how to have a happy marriage/relationship some day.

    • It seems like you and I are in the same accord. I completely agree with everything you said. We’re both in the same boat. Our future individual marriages will be a success, since we know what makes a marriage bad. Good things are in store for us.

  7. As a fellow Christian wearing my purity ring on my left hand, I strongly applaud the stand you take for Christ on this topic, as you do with many others. This is encouragement beyond belief. Thank you, Jordan!

    • Thanks, Chelsea. I truly appreciate your encouragement. I applaud you,too. You’re a inspiration to those around you, even if you don’t know it. You’re a light. Thank you. God bless you.

  8. very beautiful! brings out the true meaning of what sex is (and what it was meant to be) , something our world has turned into filth.As for now all you need is God, and in his timing he will bring you a wife (and me a husband). God bless you! and thanks for helping me see that im not alone! (even though it shouldnt matter if i was, i live for God not the world but it feels great knowing im not the only one! theres others who share my love for God <3 )

    • Amen, Catherine. It’s encouraging to know that we’re not alone. We have each other and, most importantly, we have God. God bless!

  9. That’s true. And to add, waiting is best when your waiting for the best – God’s best. <3 . And who wants their future family broken anyway?

  10. You kinda touch on people that have already had sex but I am wondering… What are your thoughts on dating/ marrying a person that gave into into sexual sin? Do you think it is possible to see past that one part in a person??

    • Of course. Everyone makes mistakes. We’re all sinners. The great Christian author CS Lewis wrote, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” We forgive and see past the sin in others, since God has forgiven and seen past our sin. I would have no problem dating/marrying a girl who has had sex before. I’ve dated girls who have had sex before. They made mistakes in the past, but are still good people. What are your thoughts about what I said?

      • Honestly I am relieved to hear that! I have made many mistakes but have found God’s unbelievable grace through my pain. I haven’t found any guy that can see past that yet. Just making sure there was at least one out there. Thanks for everything you do. You’re a great guy, any girl would be lucky!

        • I know ton’s of good Christians who would see past that particular mistake. Don’t worry, you’ll find someone who will see past it. Thanks for all your kind words. It truly means a lot. God bless you.

        • My dear sister, you are gem in Gods eyes and He loves you very much, He seems past your mistakes and sees your loving heart, He knows you way more than you think, Psalm 139 🙂 I have struggled with finding the One for years even though I am only 23 but God has shown me somethings in the past year and a half since I have been saved that I never knew before. God has the right person for you, in fact since we are predestined so is our marriage, God has chosen the right one from the moment He formed you in your mothers womb and I would like to exhort you to keep seeking Him, grow closer to Jesus and you will be more like Him, pray for your future husband and pray that He may have Godly qualities instead of worldly expectations. You are blessed my sister truly blessed. We all have many mistakes but God is sovereign and forgives but amazingly He also remembers your sins no more. One thing that I am thankful to God is that He used my mom who is not saved to teach me to wait till I am married to have sex and God has given me a stubborn personality for His glory. I want to encourage you to not let mistakes of your past define where you are going and what is doing in your life. This past week God has given me a word and I want to share it for His Glory. When that pain hits you say NO MORE, when that disappointment in yourself crawls behind you and tries to blind you, say NO MORE, when that depression and sadness wants to overwhelm you, say NO MORE! It has helped me so much and I pray that it helps you! May God Bless you and lead you in His ways!

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