It’s commonly said that chivalry is dead and gone. Our generation doesn’t value respect and love as much as previous generations. We live in a culture where women are mistreated in every imaginable way. Women are told to look and act in a particular way. If a man sleeps around, he is called a king, while, if a women sleeps around, she is called a whore. Double standards are as many as Starbucks.

All this nonsense has led men to have low opinions of women. Guys say things like all women are crazy, and they’re not as logical as men, and some even have the nerve to reduce women to merely body parts. Many guys treat girls like dirt and think nothing of it. This is a big reason chivalry is dead and gone.

Some guys don’t show respect to women, since they don’t have respect for women.


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Guys have all this sexist garbage floating in their mind, so they don’t even know how to treat a women right or even care to. They see women as a means to satisfy their sexual desires, birth children, and nothing more. So, they don’t even think about opening up her car door for her, surprising her with flowers, or even complimenting something other than her looks. It’s all surface level with these guys and that’s why they don’t treat women right.

Another reason guys don’t act chivalrous is because they hear people demean chivalry has sexist. Female empowerment is a wonderful thing that should be encouraged, since women have always done great things and now they’re finally getting recognized for it. However, I’ve seen some women be so independent that they interpret chivalry as sexist. They say they don’t need a man to open their door, since they can do it themselves. They say they don’t need a man to pay for their meal, since they have their own money.

These girls say they don’t need a man for anything, so they interpret chivalry as a man saying she can’t do something.

 

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Guys see girls say chivalry is sexist from afar and decide to just avoid the topic by not reaching for the door to open it for her. These guys don’t want to offend, so they just stay silent.However, chivalry isn’t sexist at all.

I have this crazy amazing girlfriend. Don’t get me started about her, since I could write all day about why she’s so special. AndI act chivalrous towards her. I make sure to open all doors for her, hold an umbrella for her if it rains, surprise her with her favorite flowers, compliment her beauty AND her brains, and surprise her at work with her favorite Starbucks drink.

I don’t do all that because I think she is inferior to me. Not at all. She got on the Dean’s List without me, so she can do outstanding things without me. That’s not the point.

I act chivalrous towards her not because I think she’s inferior to me, but instead because I want to show her how much I appreciate her and care about her. It’s easy to tell a girl that you care about her and all that jazz. However, talk is cheap.

It’s good to say you care, but it’s even better to show you care.

sea-dawn-sunset-coupleI care about my girlfriend, so I want to show her that through my words and my actions. I want her to be constantly reminded that she is important to me. She isn’t my subordinate. She is my partner. She might not need me to do them, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to do them for her. I like making her smile, so I’ll do whatever I can to make that happen.

I also want to say that I think we tend to get chivalry all wrong. I’ve seen guys act chivalrous only on Valentines day, I’ve seen them force chivalry on girls, I’ve also seen guys only compliment a girl’s physical appearance, and I’ve seen guys treat their girl like a princess but treat all other girls like trash. All of this is a far cry from real chivalry.

Chivalry isn’t just a one day thing, it’s a mindset you approach all your days with.

It’s also not about forcing anything, it’s about offering it. Chivalry also isn’t about just telling a girl she’s beautiful, it’s about making a girl feel beautiful by complimenting other things about her than just her physical appearance. And lastly, chivalry isn’t just about treating whomever you’re dating right, it’s about treating your neighbor right.

This post is directed to guys, but there is also much to say to girls on this subject. Girls aren’t the only ones who should be spoiled. Girls should also treat their man with respect and love. They should also show respect to everyone.Chivalry isn’t just a male issue, it’s a people issue. We should honor everyone we met.

Our world lacks a lot of love. Selfishness goes deep within this culture of ours. We should do all we can to reverse these destructive thoughts and actions by loving everyone we met.

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves” – Romans 12:10

 

Jordan Kranda
Follower of Jesus. Engaged to Ariel. Church Intern. Graduate Student. Writing A Sexual Purity Book.

1 COMMENT

  1. I think if you read the code of chivalry, it is easy to understand why it is “dead.” 90% of it is about honoring God…

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