Dating is an wonderful process. You learn a lot about yourself, and, above all else, dating is a lot of fun. However, there are many mistakes we make which translate to a bad date. This post will focus on a particular mistake committed by guys. This mistake concerns not planning out the first date.

Guys, if you don’t plan the first date, don’t bother planning the second date, since she won’t give you that chance.

Young couple holding hands with sun-flare.

Girls like guys with a plan. A plan demonstrates that you care about a girl, can be depended upon, and, if you plan correctly, you can be counted on to plan something fun.

Life is stressful and dating should be an enjoyable escape from the busyness of life.

If she has to worry about whether or not you can plan out a fun date, then get comfortable in your single bed because you’ll be sleeping in it for the rest of your life.

If a guy shows up to the first date and asks the girl, “So, what do you want to do?”, he should be convicted of a felony and the punishment should be a life full of celibacy. Guys, if you don’t plan the first date, then don’t bother planning the second date, since there won’t be one. You end up tweeting about being #ForeverAlone rather than being with that girl on a second date.

Guys, put some thought into the first date. There are countless tips about how to plan a good first date, but I’ll just give you one. This one is key. If you do this right, then everything else should fall into place. So, what is the tip?

Pick an activity which sparks conversations, not hinders conversations.

Couple holding hands in cafe

The first date is all about you getting to know each other. The setting for your first date is crucial. If you pick a loud and busy setting, you might as well give up on the date. You won’t be able to hear each other and you’ll both be annoyed. This is no good. However, a little planning goes a long way.

What activities hinder conversations? Dinner is always a must on a date, but what should you do for the “fun” aspect of the date? Every city is different, but things like going mini golfing or bowling, visiting an aquarium or an art gallery, or just people watching with a sundae in your hand are all good ideas for a first date.

These are all good because they all have a common element running through them?

Make sure the “fun aspect” of the date is you, not the activity.

The focus needs to be on each of you, not on your activity. You need an activity that allows you both to keep the conversation flowing, instead of drying up.

At this point, you might not agree with me. Let me demonstrate my point by bringing up a popular first date activity, which is absolutely horrible.  A huge mistake some guys make is having their first date be dinner and a movie. Watching a movie completely eliminates conversations. You’ll be forced to be quiet and look at a screen for two hours, when you really should be talking and looking at each other for two hours. The movie will end and you’ll know a lot about the characters in the movie, but not a lot about the pretty girl next to you. Epic fail.

Guys, plan out the first date. It’ll make your life more easy.

Jordan Kranda
Follower of Jesus. Husband to Ariel. Master’s of Theology (Greek Track) Graduate. Future Pastor. Present lover of cheese, Blink-182, & watching sports.

8 COMMENTS

  1. It makes me feel special when a guy plans a date. To know that he took the time to think about something fun for the both of you shows he cares. Some guys don’t plan something to make it very casual on purpose, which is fine if you’re just friends but it shows the girl that she isn’t worth a whole lot of time or planning. Also, I think some guys are afraid the girl won’t like the activity but like you said, you can’t go wrong with mini golf or bowling! We’re really not that picky.

  2. I completely agree with this! The best first date I ever went on the guy was prompt to pick me up, took me skating and then to a coffee shop after to warm up. We talked for the entire 5 hours, it was never awkward and the conversation flowed nicely. He then proceeded to drive me home, walk me to the front door and said hi to my family. He left with a hug. Needless to say there were several dates after this. Preplanning and conversation are crucial. 🙂

  3. My favorite first date was a baseball game! Perfect for talking and it was something my date and I both enjoyed. If sports isn’t your thing then I think a museum or art show would be adorable.

  4. I once had a guy refuse to plan the date, and 15 minutes prior to our “decided meet time” he still hadn’t planned anything, so I said let’s just meet at starbucks to begin with and go from there. He then bragged about his dinner and his dessert he had…and I came straight from work at 7 on a Friday night starving…

    Oh, come to find out he was a not so good guy, definitely not a man of God… I think that a guys way of planning the date speaks volumes of his character! Great post as always J, youdabest.

  5. I agree with what has been said! I have been on plenty of dates and the ones that I can remember are the ones the guy too initiative, planned out the date, and conversation flowed. One of my favorite first dates was going to the local ice cream shop downtown, people watching, and asking questions. Loved it! I even went out on a second date with the guy. First dates matter.

  6. When dating I do not even consider a movie as a date because dating is interactive and the movie takes that away. I’m glad you recognize that!

    • Good point. I would consider a movie a date, if there is something else involved. Dinner and a movie is a bad, but just not a very good one. It’s a good date for a couple who is in a relationship, not a couple seeking to see if they could be in a relationship. You rock, Jessica. We missed you last night!

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