If physical attractiveness determines who you date, then you’re in trouble. They might look good, but that doesn’t mean they’re good for you. I’m not saying that you should date only unattractive people, but their needs to be other things about them that you’re attracted to besides their looks. You need to have the similar passions, goals, and motivations.

Your future spouse won’t always look like they did when you first met them.

They will gain some extra pounds, wrinkles will show up, and their hair will either go away or turn grey. This happens to everyone, even to attractive people. You don’t just marry one person, but multiple people: the person on your wedding day, the person ten years later, and so forth.

If looks determines who you date, then you will want to go away when their looks go away.



If looks shouldn’t be what determines who we date, then what should? Spiritual attractiveness should determine who we date. You need to date someone who is on fire for Jesus, not just someone who is smoking hot. Looks fade, but faith grows. You need to find someone who is passionate about Jesus, someone who will love Jesus more than they love you, and someone who will motivate you to love Jesus more.

I know that my wife’s physical appearance will change throughout our marriage. Her hair will turn grey, her once smooth face will become the home of wrinkles, and the “junk in her trunk” might even turn into an entire junkyard. When we’re old and playing with the grandkids, we will look at our wedding pictures and say, “Wow. Weren’t we something?”.

I look forward to praying and studying the Bible with my wife. I also look forward to encouraging my wife to become who Jesus wants her to be and seeing her encourage me to do the same. I can’t wait to teach our kids about Jesus and going to church as a family.

Portrait of family outdoors, close up

What excites me most about my wife has nothing to do with how she looks.

Instead, I’m excited to see us prepare each other to see Jesus face-to-face. I don’t care that my wife’s body will change. I won’t be falling in love with her body, but rather her soul.

You won’t look like – or even be like – the person in your wedding pictures for long, but that’s a good thing. You will be changing for the better. Therefore, you shouldn’t allow physical beauty what makes you date someone.

Fall in love with a soul, not a body. Click to Tweet

What are other reasons why you shouldn’t let physical attractiveness determine who you date?

Leave your comment below.

Jordan Kranda
Follower of Jesus. Husband to Ariel. Master’s of Theology (Greek Track) Graduate. Future Pastor. Present lover of cheese, Blink-182, & watching sports.


  1. Hi Jordan,
    I am really enjoying your tweets and now your blog posts. As someone who is about to celebrate her 20th wedding anniversary I couldn’t agree with you more. Both my husband and I have changed physically and emotionally as well as other ways I am sure, over our relationship. What hasn’t changed is our commitment to God, each other and our children.

  2. “and the “junk in her trunk” might even turn into an entire junkyard.” …. i cant xD this was 2 funny =’) …..but true! lol

  3. Reading your last few post about relationships got me thinking. If you wrote a letter to your future wife what would it say?

  4. Loved this! So encouraging coming from a guy’s point of view, since it is most common to see men be interested in outward appearance first. Thanks Jordan! Keep it up, God bless!


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