Guys are always thinking about girls. We haven’t met our dream girl yet (mostly because we suck at falling asleep), so we’re constantly wondering what we want in a girl. What will she be like? What are deal breakers? This brief post seeks to help answer those difficult questions.
She loves Jesus
If she doesn’t love Jesus, then you shouldn’t date her. If you want your relationship to last, then it’s foundation needs to be in the Everlasting (i.e. Jesus). If you claim to live for Jesus, that should be reflected in who you decide to date. I wrote a separate blog all about Why Christians Shouldn’t Date Non-Christians (read it here).
She doesn’t expect you to be her “knight in shining armor.”
Many girls want you to be the solution to all their problems, but, let’s be honest, you won’t solve all of their problems. You are imperfect and she is imperfect, so your relationship will also be imperfect. You need to find a girl who wants Jesus, not you, to be the solution to all of her problems. If she expects you to solve everything, you will only be stressed and ashamed when you both realize that you’re just a guy. Only God can solve her problems, not you.
She encourages you
When the world is tearing you down, you need a girl who is building you up. She shouldn’t be the person who joins others in picking out your flaws, instead she should be your biggest encourager. This world is full of heartache and your future wife should be someone you know will always be your number one fan. When you feel like trash, she should remind you just how special you are.
She is more than a pretty face
We, as guys, can be pretty shallow. This is true of everyone, but it’s especially true for guys. We want to date a girl who is beautiful. This is not necessarily a bad thing, since being attracted to your wife will be important. However, there has to be more to her than a pretty face. She should be passionate about Jesus, she should be motivated to become more like Jesus, and she should encourage you to become more Christ-like. Those are things that matter more than looking good in a photo. Your attraction must be deeper than how she looks or else your attraction will soon fade away.
She’s willing to work through your problems.
When there is a problem, she needs to be willing to talk about it. She shouldn’t say “everything is okay” when everything is not okay. You should find a girl who openly talks about why things aren’t okay. This won’t always be what you want, since she might want to talk about why things aren’t okay when all you really want to talk about is how amazing this Taco Bell burrito is. However, in the long run, your relationship will be a lot healthier and more enjoyable.
She can forgive you
This point is closely tied to the last point of being able to work through your problems, but it’s not entirely the same. After you work on your problems, she needs to be able to let it go. After she says she’s forgiven you, she should actually forgive you. She shouldn’t be bringing it up during every disagreement. That only makes things worse. This also means you need to be the kind of guy who shows her that you deserve to be forgiven. It goes both ways.
One more thing
Your future wife will not be perfect – not today, not on your wedding day, not anytime in this life. Don’t read this post and thing that you need to wait for the perfect girl. If you do that, pull up a chair because you will be waiting for a long time (aka forever). Don’t seek to date a perfect girl, instead seek to date an imperfect girl who is already seeking the Perfect, namely Jesus. Your relationship should be you and her seeking Jesus together. Until you meet her, seek Him.
Your future wife deserves a great guy just like you deserve a great girl. Don’t expect God to give you a great wife, when you aren’t working on becoming a great husband. Use your singleness as a time to prepare for your marriage.
What else should guys look for in a girl?
Leave your comment below.