Several years back, I heard a pastor give a talk on relationships and about being patient in waiting for God to bring that person into your life. He had gotten married much later in life, and so his waiting period was much longer than the average person. He advocated that as you wait for God to bring that person into your life, you should be praying for them, for them to know Christ, to love Him more than anything else in the world, to have their life mission be about the Gospel, and all sorts of other valuable things.
We as single Christians hear things like this and really latch onto them because who wouldn’t want a spouse that is growing in their love of God and their life is therefore being changed by Him. Yet we often miss the most important part: Someone is praying the same things for you too. Therefore, we have a responsibility to grow in all the same things that we are praying for our future spouse.
Many of us treat the single part of our life as the prologue to the real storyline of our life; its not that important, most people don’t read it, it provides a little background, but the real story starts afterward. It is the opposite in fact.
The single part of our life is part of our character development for that married part of our life (which is also not the focal point, climax, central plot, or more important to what came before).
When you get married, all your problems will not be instantly solved. If you are looking at porn before you are married, you will still be looking at porn afterward. If you have body image issues before you are married, you will still have them afterward. If you are selfish when you are single, you’re still going to be selfish when you’re married.
Now your marriage has the opportunity and power to help mitigate and change some of those things, but overall what you are before you get married will still be who you are when you get married. In fact, your marriage is just going to amplify these issues.
God’s desire is to make you more and more like his Son because a life lived like Christ brings Him glory. Part of the way He is brought glory is that you grow in your Christlikeness before you are married so that your marriage brings Him glory later because you have already worked through your sinfulness and thus it never affects your marriage. Your spouse is praying for that, but more importantly, God is desiring to do that in your life.
How much more will your marriage bring God glory, if not only your spouse is working through their sin now, but you as well, before you even meet them.
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