Don’t complain.

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Stop complaining about being the third wheel, stop tweeting about being #ForeverAlone, and stop any other kind of complaining about being single. This makes you look bitter and completely undesirable to the opposite sex.

You might not be dating someone right now, but the person you’ll eventually date might already be in your life as a friend. He/she looks at your bitterness of being single and they are completely turned off. I’ve personally enjoyed being friends with a girl before dating her for many reasons with one being to see how she handles being single. If she complains, I’m instantly turned off. If she’s bitter while being single, she will also be bitter in a relationship. You shouldn’t need to be in a romantic relationship to enjoy life. If you need to be dating someone to enjoy life, something is wrong.

Don’t rush love.

Love, by it’s very nature, cannot and should not be rushed. 1 Corinthians 13:4 says, “Love is patient“. Song of Songs 3:5 says, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires“.  Love is not only for Americans, but it certainty isn’t a Russian thing. Do not rush love. Falling in love is depicted as this fairy tale-like experience by television and movies. They make you think that love will solve all of your problems. If that were the case, then why wouldn’t we want to rush that? That, much like everything else from television and movies, is not in tuned to reality.

Love won’t solve all your problems, instead it’ll actually double your problems. The person you love will have problems that will become your problems. They will also see problems in you that you didn’t even see in yourself. Love is a full-time job and you shouldn’t rush it.

Don’t over think why you’re single.

Man stands between boulders on summit, arms out

 

You aren’t single because you’re ugly or a loser. The only thing you are is single. Don’t create reasons why you’re single when there really isn’t any reason. The smartest and most beautiful people were all single at some point in their life. You are single because you are single. That is all.

Don’t think more about what you want in a spouse than about thinking what God wants in you.

Woman visiting Montmartre, Paris

You shouldn’t spend your time dreaming about your perfect spouse, while spending zero time making yourself someone’s perfect spouse. Nothing is wrong in wanting a great spouse, but you should also strive to become a great spouse too. You deserve someone great, but so does your spouse.

We all have problems that need to be worked on and we shouldn’t wait till marriage to work on them. Singleness is a great time to work at becoming the person God wants you to be. I wrote a blog about this very subject (read it here). You can have a list about what you want in a spouse, but also have a list of things about yourself that you want to work on.

Jordan Kranda
Follower of Jesus. Husband to Ariel. Master’s of Theology (Greek Track) Graduate. Future Pastor. Present lover of cheese, Blink-182, & watching sports.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Guys like you make me want a guy just like you and make me stop and realize it’s time to work on myself for my future husband so I can be the perfect spouse to him. And also thank you for making us single Christens feel special when we don’t think we are. You are awesome!!

  2. Haha, the ‘Russian’ pun. Your posts are so truthful and entertaining. Flawed people sharing the love and truth of Christ is just a beautiful thing to watch. Keep relying on Him.
    – Sami

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