Put Jesus First.

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If Jesus isn’t your King, don’t expect to be a Godly guy’s queen. Putting Jesus first in your life is setting yourself up for success in many areas of your life. Also, when Jesus is first in your life, you will both have a deep connection since you both see Jesus as your source of strength. Your relationship will be characterize as helping each other become the people Jesus created you to be.

Don’t expect a guy to be your Savior. That’s the job of Jesus.

If you think that dating and/or marrying a guy will solve all your problems, you aren’t ready to date. You expect a man to do what only the Son of Man can do: be your Savior. The guy you date and eventually marry will not be able to solve all your problems. In fact, he will only add more problems to your life. This is what happens when you get into a relationship with a sinful person.

He will not always want to watch a chick flick, he will not always want to eat what you want to eat, and he will not always be in the best mood. This is natural. Many young couples don’t last because they have bought into the lie of expecting love to be easy and solve everything. When trouble arises, it is a sign that “it just wasn’t meant to be”. This is what happens when you allow hollywood to formulate your conception of love. Don’t make that mistake.

A man can’t and won’t solve all your problems.

Be ambitious.

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I love hearing a girl talk about what they want to do with their life. If a girl says “I want to go to grad school”, I’m instantly falling in love with her and I’ll buy her whatever she wants on the Taco Bell value menu without hesitation. However, you don’t have to go to grad school to be ambitious. You can simply be passionate about becoming the best at what you do. You spend hours studying and dreaming up your future. This is an attractive quality.

Don’t be a flirt.

If you’re the type of girl that flirts with every guy, good luck getting a Godly guy. A girl who is “the flirt” is annoying. I know girls feel the same way about guys who are considered “the flirt”. These people only crave attention, not companionship. They want to be wanted, not to be in a relationship. Needless to say, these people find it hard to settle down with one person. Quite frankly, I find it hard to even talk to them. One of my greatest accomplishments was denying this flirtatious girl. I considered it community service in the eyes of God.

Don’t fake your relationship with Jesus to impress a guy.

This is personally one of my least favorite things. Sometimes, a girl will see that you love Jesus and they will try to impress you with their Christian knowledge. You don’t have to impress me with your random facts about the Bible. You don’t have to know everything about the Bible to know me.

You can express your doubts about God, you can struggle with comprehending certain Biblical truths, and you can even think that reading parts of the Bible is boring. That is fine. Don’t try to be who you think I want you to be, but instead be who you are. Be authentic, genuine, and most importantly, be yourself.

Encourage him.

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You can never get enough encouragement. As you know, many bad things happen around us and, often times, to us. This is why encouragement is such a turn on. A Godly guy wants to be encouraged, but he also wants you to encourage others. This world can be hard for everyone, so it’s a turn on when I see a girl make someone’s day by simply encouraging them.

I remember dating this girl who never, not even once, encouraged me. Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last. Being an encouraging person is really attractive. If you want bonus points, encourage a guy and bring them Taco Bell. That would cause his mind to explode with gratitude.

Have your own life.

You shouldn’t need to always be around a specific guy to be happy. You should have your own separate interests, friends, and plans. You should have nights where you don’t spend it with the guy you like. Being apart will actually benefit you too, since they say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. And they would be right. Time apart makes your time together more enjoyable.

Also, if a guy wants to control you by making you not have your own life, then drop that idiot. You shouldn’t’ waste your time with that loser. A guy might want to control you because he doesn’t trust you. However, if he doesn’t trust you, he shouldn’t date you. Have your own life.

Be who you are, not who you think a guy wants you to be.

This is similar to the tip earlier about faking your relationship to impress a guy, but this tip is more general, yet still as frustrating. Nothing bugs me more than when a girl is clearly just agreeing with everything I’m saying to impress me. You’re just being who you think I want you to be, instead of being yourself. This is a wasted date.

Being different and disagreeing is actually a great thing. I love it when a girl disagrees with me. I don’t want to date someone who thinks like me and agrees with everything I say. In other words, I don’t want to date me. Be yourself and disagree. This is a great thing. For example, I love the band Blink-182, but I’ve dated girls who have openly told me that they think Blink-182 makes horrible music. This was attractive because it showed me that they weren’t putting up an act with me. I like that.

Be willing to talk things out, instead of running away from problems.

Conflict will always be present in your relationship, since you don’t put two imperfect people in a relationship together and expect a perfect relationship. This is why you should have good conflict resolution skills. Running away from problems doesn’t make the problems go away.

If you have the ability to talk through your problems, you will have greater success in your marriage. If you don’t have this skill, don’t worry because you can acquire it. Guys hate it when you ask your girl, “Is everything fine?”, and you respond by saying, “Yep”. That’s code for everything is definitely not fine, grab everything you have and run because she’s about to blow up.

It would be so much easier if we could talk through our problems though.

Understand that no guy is perfect.

Please understand that your “prince charming” won’t always be so charming. If I get the vibe you think I’m perfect, I’m going to be scared to talk about my sin. The beauty of a relationship is working on problems together, but it’ll be hard to work on them, if I think you will run when you see that I’m no prince charming.

Godly guys struggle with pride, lust, angry, and the list goes on and on. The point is that guys aren’t perfect. A Godly guy is still a guy. Don’t forget it.

Read the other half of this post (10 Tips on Winning A Godly Women’s Heart) over at Raquel Duarte’s blog.


What are your thoughts?

Leave your comment below 

Jordan Kranda
Follower of Jesus. Husband to Ariel. Master’s of Theology (Greek Track) Graduate. Future Pastor. Present lover of cheese, Blink-182, & watching sports.

16 COMMENTS

  1. Everything that I needed to hear. Got a good reality check and this showed me some of my flaws when pursuing a relationship.

  2. Thank you very much for this blog post. I go to Biola and often see that even in a Christian community people fail to see truly how important putting Jesus above your relationships is and think that guys will solve all their problems (even me)! I look forward to reading more!

  3. Thanks for a great post. I have just shared it on my Twitter because all my friends, especially the girls, need to read this. My favourite caption is “..Be willing to talk things out, instead of running away from problems…”
    God bless you Jordan.

    • Hi Jordan i enjoy all your posts and i love how real you are,thanks for an amazing post once again,blessings from This side of Africa

  4. Thank you Jordan for writing this blog post.
    Personally I struggle with some of these, and it’s awesome how The Lord works because he recently convicted me of some of these things as well. Thanks for the genuine heart and honesty.
    God bless.

  5. I LOVE this post! So helpful. You give the best dating advice in the world! 🙂 You have so much faith and you serve God endlessly, you inspire! I feel like I am everything on the list but I probably am way too agreeable on dates, so you have opened my eyes.

  6. I agree with McKenna. This is helpful for all godly women because you offer insight from a genuine godly man’s perspective. Thanks again for your knowledge and encouragement. Always grateful!

  7. Great post, Jordan. This is definitely something a lot of girls need to hear. Thank you for outlining this in 10 simple points. I’m sure every girl will learn at least one thing from this post.

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