“I have the perfect person for you”

I’m not an IKEA item, so don’t set me up. Maybe I’m single because I want to be single. I’m a perfectly healthy adult – besides the fact that I still laugh at “yo momma” jokes – who can get their own date.

“You’re too picky”

The person who usually says this wasn’t asked their opinion. If I wanted your advice, I would have asked you. However, I didn’t so please keep your opinion to yourself. I know what I want and I don’t mind waiting being patient. I could settle and just be unhappy for the rest of my life, but that isn’t happening.

A_loner_at_RK_Beach

“Just pray about it”

I love to pray, but this simple statement – when it’s the only thing said to comfort – doesn’t comfort anyone. Jesus is our Lord, not our genie. Maybe He wants me to be single to teach me something. However, you just want to rush Him. This simple statement should come after you say something actually encouraging.

“One day it’ll be worth it”

“One day” isn’t today. Therefore, your advice about this future isn’t helpful. If I’m on fire and you tell me that everything will be fine one day, I won’t care and I’d probably try to catch you on fire for giving me dumb advice instead of actually helping me.

“God has someone right around the corner for you”

This is a sad trick. I wouldn’t mind being in a relationship, so you think it’s help to tell me that my future spouse is right around the corner? That just isn’t true. Taco Bell is right around the corner, not my future spouse. This statement doesn’t communicate anything other than “I have nothing else to say, so let me use that crappy cliché”.

“If only you…”

Excuse me, but I didn’t ask for your advice. This statement is worst when it comes from that couple who have been together for like a month, yet they think that they’re the relationship experts. Just stop it. I don’t want advice from you. You think Taco Bell is crappy food, so clearly you have something wrong with you. Please send your advice to my secretary – I don’t have a secretary, so just keep your words to yourself. Thanks.

“Is it weird to be so old and not married? You’re like 22”

I know that most people get married when they still have peach fuzz, but that’s not my style. I’m not criticizing those who get married young, since I know many people who get married young and it’s great for them. I’m happy for them. However, there is nothing wrong with waiting to get married. So, stop with your ridiculous statement.

“I want grandkids”

Grandparents want grandchildren. They know they’ll be seeing Jesus soon (i.e. tasting death), so they want to make sure to see you get married and, most importantly, they want to see your babies. However, this persistent nagging doesn’t help me make babies.

“I can’t believe you’re single. You are like so amazing”

You may not believe I’m single, but I’m actually single. This doesn’t help me one bit.

“There’s plenty of fish in the sea”

If you say this, I will want to throw you into the sea and see you get eaten by a fish – preferably a whale. Clichés don’t comfort. Why aren’t you getting this?


What are other things single people hate hearing?

Leave your comment below

Jordan Kranda
Follower of Jesus. Husband to Ariel. Master’s of Theology (Greek Track) Graduate. Future Pastor. Present lover of cheese, Blink-182, & watching sports.

15 COMMENTS

  1. I loved this one, it was like stress relieving for me. Even I m single,.n 28, in India there is a lot of social stigma if not married. U just spoke my heart out Jordan. I was in a relationship since 8 years. It was long distance though. Had broken up jus last week. All my friends even my students are married n they have children. Every person I meet the first question they ask is wen I m getting married. It just gets on my nerves. I have reduced using fb n watsapp coz people constantly bug me with this question. Thank you. Keep writing it encourages people like us. Even I m sailing in the same boat.

  2. This is not my experience, and you probably mostly hear this after being rejected, but I felt like I had to put it here:

    “You’re going to make a very lucky woman very happy someday.”

    Great article!

  3. Yup. Yup. Yup! I’ve heard almost all of these or variations of these too!

    My grandma used to always ask me if there were any cute guys at school that I had my eye on. And then would proceed to tell me that she was sure a lot of guys at school were head over heals for me but were just too shy. So awkward. XP (Again…this was my grandma and I was in high school at the time).

  4. Recently my one friend said to me, “Oh, I thought you guys were a thing.” Um, no. I’m in high school. Ever heard of being friends? And then there are the relatives. I’m not even gonna go there. Y’all know what I mean. 😉

  5. This is probably one of the best blogs ever written. I literally laughed out loud. You’re takin’ us to church!

  6. hahaha some of the things u said (like throwing the person in the sea) is totally something i would say xD And i’ve had some of these things said to me, but like you said i rather be single then to settle, for me thats the worst thing… to settle.

    P.S Taco bell being around the corner.. for you… thats just as good as a future spouse xD

  7. LOL at #6 and #10! But on a more serious note, your words are encouraging. It can get a bit redundant and (as nicely as I can put it) obnoxious to hear these statements. I wholly agree that singleness can be a spiritual purpose and not the mere fact that you (me and others) are obviously single. Thanks for shedding light on this matter!

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